is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
