Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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