found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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