How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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