on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
