Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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