what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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