I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
