my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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