White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
