guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
