I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he thought i was a dude.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
