Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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