marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Operation Purity has been aborted
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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