I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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