ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
