I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
