I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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