Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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