I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
