i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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