Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Vodka?
Forever.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
