hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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