i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
