quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
