just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
