He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
