So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
