honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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