btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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