she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
