Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
babies were throwing up all over the place
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Enjoy the penises
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
