I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
