i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
