At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
