And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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