And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
