Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
