Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
