Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
