I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
