nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just high enough for therapy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
