someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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