6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
