hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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