Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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