I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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