Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
