things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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