I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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