for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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