I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
