I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
