how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
